Troubled

Jus within days, 10 of my hamsters died.. I feel so guilty and angry with myself nt taking good care of them.. Ignoring them... Only left with 9 nw.. Though lesser of it is much easier to take care but i'm depressed cos Ah Fat & Shu Tiao died... They were the hamsters tt he bought for me initially & they gave birth to alot of babies... Those 2 hamsters resemble us... The female one is fatter than the male and has small eyes whereas the male one has big nice eyes... I always regard them as a token of love from him.. Seeing them it's like reminding me of my last yr b'day where he bought these hamsters with a bouquet of lilies and send it personally to my hse to me... I was really touched though it is nothing expensive... I was kinda paranoid lately.. Thinking of lots of stuffs in my mind... (Thinking that hamsters died = Our love has died) Know it's kinda stupid to feel this way.. But.. Tat's wad i reali feel nw.. Hamsters dying 1 by 1 as days passes, our love dying as days passes too.. Probably it's hinting me to give up... I'm really tired... Guess i'll jus leave everything to fate.. I still believe wad comes around, goes around.. God wun be so unfair to me...

I'm so stress lately... My bro is moving back with his wife and child and i gotta give up my room to them... :( Stressing wad day job should i look for... And my poor niece ended up in hospital again... Duno when the hell god will stop all her sufferings and give her back a healthy life... Super heart pain to see her keep undergoing for operations... Hope she'll really recover fully soon..