Another sleepless night

It's 5 more mins to 4am in the morning.. Walking ard the hse... Opening and closing the fridge, not wanting to find anything to eat.. Counting opposite block see hw many lights are still on at this time... Browsing friend's profile thru FB.. I'm having fucking insomnia again.. 

He's sleeping like a pig now, snoring all e way.. Making me more difficult to fall aslp.. Wake him up, telling him i cant get to slp end up tell me to count sheeps... I count until counting frogs liao but still awake lo.. Sianzzz... What else can I do alone in e middle of the night when I cant get to sleep??

Lost in MJ again just now.. $100 flew .. EVERYTIME lost to his dad and sis-in-law whenever play with them.. Sianzz.. everytime donate $$... Dun play with them liao .. Not fun one!! Humph!!!

Suddenly feel so sian of everything ard me.. Be it work or other things.. So tired.. Am I feeling this way coz I cant get to slp now or am I really feeling this inside me....?

Off day yesterday

Went over to my cousin's place in the evening time for my niece's birthday.. A wink of an eye she's already 10.. Still rmb carrying her when she arrived to the world.. Bought Nintendo DS for her as present.. Bought 2 of it though.. Other one for my another niece whose birthday just passed on February and they are the same age.. Glad that they are both very happy & excited when receieving the present....

Later at night had a Mahjong session with Baby, elise and friend... Suddenly called me at 9 plus PM to ask if we wanna play as she's bored at hm... Poor Baby gotta wake up early for work today yet still wanna spend more time with me... This is what he claimed but deep inside I feel he also feel very tempted by it.. Lol... We have 2 mahjong sets.. One is my Hello Kitty set the other one is Baby's hse mj set.. Since CNY we have been using his  mj to play, I keep losing $$... Elise's friend said I start blaming on the "swimming trunk".... LOL...Faintz.. But it's the truth ma.. Sob sob.. :( Next time I must use back mY hello Kitty see if I will win $$.... If yes then it's really that MJ set problem.. Haha.......

Just seen my work schedule for this month.. Really packed to the hell.. Whole month only got 5 days off.. Need to cancel off some days as got quite a few events on hand which will really shag me out..

Will be gg to Taiwan, Hongkong & Macau next month 10th-18th.. Feeling so excited as I haven been to Taiwan & Macau yet.. Excited to see what is there.. Luckily air tickets and accomodation are being sponsored, means i can spend more on shopping... Yeeeaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh......................!!!!!!!!

I Hate Tonight

Damn fucking pissed off with today, which is on the 27th.. whatever happened really fucking pissed me off.. Arrgghhh.. So feeling wanted to vent out, but cant n must control... Feeling sooooo bad mood till wanna punch hardly on sandbag for a good 10 mins.. But too bad i dun have it with me now and i gtta swollow everything in me............. Do u understand how miserable it is when u cant vent ur anger out when ur mind is erupting like a volcano already??????

@#$%#&%^^*&%&|#..... AAAAAAAAArrrrrrrrrrrrrGGGGGGGGGGGGhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Summarize Blog since I Last Blogged

It's been quite a while since I last blogged... Due to CNY, work, laziness and etc.. Nothing to do, I'm bored now as Baby went for his army exercise this afternoon.. Will only be back on Friday night.. Sianz.. When he's around, I find him annoying & dun even wan to bother him at times.. But misses & wanting him to be by my side when he's not around... Absence really makes the heart ponders....

This CNY is really a boring one for me... Not much of visiting relative's place as most of them got their own activities and Valentine's clashes on the same day... We went night safari for our Valentine's dinner which was quite worth it though it costs almost half a K... Both baby & I enjoyed it..

Finally tml I got the time to go tanning at Sentosa.. It's been months and months that I wanted so much to do it but cant.. Will be going with my 2 gd friends Elise and Beckie.. 2 friends which I din catch up and see them for months.. But we always got unfinish topic to talk abt whenever we see each other.. Hopefully the weather would be a big sunny day tml.. I really got to get myself really tann tml as I'm not sure when will I be able to make it the next time.. Moreover I turn back fair pretty fast...

Though baby not in, I still stay at his place.. Had a mahjong session with his dad, sis-in-law and a friend just now.. Lost $25 .. Baby's sis-in-law so lucky, everytime win at least $50.. Probably this year is a very gd yr for him as his zodiac sign is a pig, which is the best in 2010.. Tt poor friend of ours lost $185... Heart pain for her.. Did some offerings for the god just now with his family too.. Provide a minimum help as I know nothing abt it.. Haha.... Finding something to do while waiting for my hair to dry after a wonderful warm bath...Shiookkk..........

Deep Down In My Complicated Heart

I've been trying so hard to do my best in my job recently... It realli shag me out... So sick of it, thinking when can I stop all these... Stop living for for pple but myself.. Every month there will be commitments and burdens... All these years, I really got enough of it... But sadly I cant shake it off... 

I chose not to think, not even to take it that it has happened and etc... But till the end of the day I still gotta face it, knowing that what I did is only to numb myself for a while... I've been optimistic all these while.. Since years and years back.. Always thinking is this what I really want in life? Or until the end of the road, what will I see in myself? I always dun have an answer to myself.. Trying to hide away from it, not facing the reality..

What can I do man? Years are catching up.......... I have not much time left... Can I really fulfill my dream... If not what's my second plan in life... The liquid flowing in my body is not blood anymore....I cant continue this for long... Will I really have a good life in the future as in what all fortune teller told me abt my life? I'm so afraid of losing myself one day... 

Really really duno what I want in my life to make it more fulfilling, more worth-while....