Disconnected to the world around me

What a wonderful week off had passed... Without working and drinking.. I feel so clean inside now.. As in I feel the liquid flowing in my body is blood and not alcohol.. Sufficient rest I had indeed but I was rather bored to death some of the days... Slacking and rotting.. Basically doing nothing...

Year 2010 pass really fast... Its faster than a blink of an eye.. It has indeed been a busy, fulfilling, alot of problems and memorable year for me...  Alot of things changed as I said in my previous post... My surroundings is a definate.. but for me I'm not sure if I had really changed.. I feel a yes and a no..

CNY is jus around the corner... It doesn't seems so excited anymore as I grow older... and specially now when I'm like the only one who is tagging along with my mom to visit my relatives... Come to think of it, it's rather boring... Its just like any other day...

My Sis and her baby moving back to their house this weekend.... Happy for her as she finally can bath, do her hair and nails... Bad for me as I'm really all alone by myself from that on... Everytime think of it, my eyes begin filling up with tears... I wonder y is that so.. Am I not happy with my life now?? It suddenly remind me of my conversation with my dad on the phone before he went back Indonesia.. We had a lil heart to heart talk and can feel that he's very worried abt me.. Be it my career, future husband, basically everything..  I almost teared when I heard what he told me... Was kinda touched as it's been a very long time since we chatted like this...

As y do I feel that I'm disconnected to the world around me... ??? I feel different... I used to be very bubbly, going out gather with friends or even chat with friends on the phone occasionally to catch up... But now besides work, I'm always home.. My phone ring mostly for work stuffs and hardly personal stuffs...It can be really quiet for the whole day at times... I'm really wondering y is it like that now... I feel so lazy to catch up with friends at times... I'm like totally in my own Candy world, putting signs up stating "Pls Do Not Disturb"..


I really need a short getaway asap... To breathe in fresh air, totally relax and pamper myself from top to toe.. And to find back Myself....

My Inner Thoughts

I'm back here blogging...

Things changes alot around me for the past 2 months..

A yr older now

Changed of working environment

& left the 1 who I always thought that he would be my last....

Perhaps this decision made is good for us...

I'm just hope that we wun regret...

Still trying to adapt to the new life I'm having now, it's too sudden that too much things changed ard me at a go.. I'm picking it up slowly as I move on...

I just feel lost, doesn't really know what I want in my life.

Career..?? 

What can I do next? My property don't seems to get anywhere.. Its being left there.. Neglected.

Go upgrade myself get a diploma or get a accounting cert?? Would it sounds like a better choice?

Years counting up, I wish that I can stop whatever job I'm doing now really soon.

Family??

My beloved sis will be giving birth to her baby Eden anytime soon end of the month.. Hopefully Baby Eden will pop out on Christmas Day, being a Christmas Baby... How wonderful will that be... :) So happy for her that she's happily married with a husband who dote & love her so much. She's so contented & happy with her little family.

My brother, just came back from Caribbean cruise with his wife & daughter.. Seems that they enjoyed themselves alot. Happy to see that he and his wife getting along very well now, and Baby Cyrs is getting fatter & fatter each time I see her.. Like a little watermelon.. Faintzzz... Bro's flat coming soon nt sure if it's next yr, not sure if I'm moving in with them or wad.. Shall discuss when it came.. 

Both my brother & sister are happily married with child at times makes me feel like settling down too.. Thinking when we were still young.. How we played, eat, sleep and even run away from home together makes me wanna laugh when thought of it. We were very mischievous, often get into troubles & got beaten up by parents. Though at that times I felt very angry and unhappy cos brother always bully us, I kinda miss it now. Now we have all grown ups, we all seems to have our own things to be responsible of. Used to share a room, a bed with my sis. Now I'm all alone lying on the queen size bed. Though shiok to have the whole bed to myself but still.... something is missing....

Meanwhile, I just concentrate earning and trying my best to save loads of money... Hopefully I will sort out soon what to do with my career.. Gonna put the rest of the things at the back of my head till time is ripe...

Updates

Again, been quit sometime since i last updated my blog... Now finally got the time and mood to shall update a new post abt what happened ard me for the past few months...

Besides being busy working, my mind has been busy thinking abt alot of things too.. Feeling so vexed so decided to go for a holiday to relax my soul, body and mind... Therefore went for a 6 days trip to bangkok last sunday... Just returned last night with huge returns.. This trip was fulfilling... shopping, massaging everyday... came back with a big luaggage and handbag full of clothes, accessories and shoes... It's been a yr or 2 since i last went there, many things seems to change... alot of shops dun seem to be there anymore.. Their fashion sense of clothes became better too.. Clothes sold there now are more fashionable and not like last time so pasar malam pattern anymore.. Covered alot of places like chatuchak, suan lum night market, chinatown and even to chonburi to visit the famous "Bai Long Wang"..

Visit to Bai Long Wang was tiring but yet fulfilling.. Finally get to see this famous character of thailand which was also famous among the hongkong stars for fortune telling.. Went there early in the morning on friday at 2.30am (bangkok time).. It took us ard 2 hrs to get there as there's no traffic.. Thinking we will be the first as the temple open at only 6am.. But to our surprise when we reached there, there's alrdy 20 vehicles ahead of us.. As Bai Long Wang only allow 100 guests to visit him per day on every fri, sat and sundays, we were afraid that we might be out of the 100 pax. But luckily still manage to get the queue number 81. We waited very long like ard 6 hours till our turn.. Finally got enlighten by him, but anyway whatever he said are very basic stuffs and probably he's old now and he nv do any palm reading at all. Pple who went there are mostly foreigners and of course a little percentage of thais..

Now back to reality again.. sianzz...

Vexed

Another sunday coming to an end... Off days always seems to pass faster than working days.. Occupying myself today by playing mj with friends in the afternoon till late evening, now I'm stuck here thinking what shuld i do next.... Not being able to sleep early every night has become a routine in my life since many years back.. Which...., considered a bad thing as when the moonlight shines, this is when most people will start thinking abt stuffs in their life... Especially when lying on bed and nt able to get to slp...

Been trying to make my life more fulfilling by doing many stuffs, working more so that I wun have the time to think of unnesscessary stuffs which probably not consider the most important thing i need to have in my life right now.. Tiring but fulfilling... Just found out last night that I failed my property CES test ... For BOTH papers... That was saddening.. Thinking to retake but guess it will be different and more challenging.. It wasn't easy... It was myself to blame that i din study hard enough for it... I think I gotta learn to be firm and more decisive about things in my life and what I want.. Anyone can train or teach me to...? Being so fickle minded and indecisive in everything causes alot of problems and unnesscessary happenings... I'm so so sick of it now....

Shall force myself to sleep now... Things been causing me headache, I jus dun wanna think anymore... Just let things be...

Japan I'm Coming

So excited as I will be leaving for Japan next wednesday... Will be going to Osaka and Tokyo for a week... Happy and excited but heartpain and worried at e same time... Heartpain cos sure spend alot of $ there and a week of nt working actually lost a lot of income... Worried as my property CES exams are on the 18th & 19th yet I haven manage to finish covering my notes... Think I'm gonna bring it along with me to Japan, while travelling can make use of the time to study... But e notes are damn thick la.. Wondering how am I going to absorb everything..

Just booked the hotels few days back... Cracking my head for few days searching for budget hotels tt is convenient for us and ways of saving money by getting the transportation pass so tt we could take unlimited rides for the whole trip while travelling from one place to another in Japan... Searching for places to go and things tt we can do there.. Tt idiotic friend of mine nv contribute anything to this trip lo... Everything I search and book.. All she need to do is just to know how much to pay me.. faint ... -.-" Will be going to the Universal Studios and Disneyland there... Tickets cost much more than Singapore Universal Studio ... $90 plus SGD..!!! But guess worth it cos it's much bigger than the one in Singapore... Think I'll come back bankrupt.. Haha... Now still deciding how much should i bring for my meals and shopping since other stuffs had already settled and paid..

By e way anyone knows if Japan electronics will it cost cheaper than in Singapore as I thought of buying Canon S90 there.. If nt then I'll jus faster buy in Sg before gg to Japan.. My current camera wun be able to take nice scenery compared to S90.. Thinking, thinking , thinking............ Hmmmmmmmm.....

Guess these few days I gtta work hard and get more sales if not come back I sure eat grass.... Counting down 6 more days to go...


In another 3 more days will be my 1st anniversary with Baby.. So far no plans yet... Shit... How... ?? Gotta start cracking my head now... But I guess deep in his heart he only wish that I could treat him better... Has been a bad gf which I nv did but duno y now I'm like that... Quarrelled a few days back, so angry that I teared... Everything he said tt day I still rmb... Really start considering at the back of my mind..........